Let’s try something different today, friends! I’m happy to take (most of) your questions—so long as you play nice. Got a career question? Need a book recommendation? A beauty tip? Pop em in the thread below and I’ll respond over the next 24 hours!
Can you give us any specifics about your book writing plans? What kind of book do you want to write and what are some of the themes/ideas you want to focus on?
The book I want to write is a mix of memoir and analysis about the myths of capitalism and meritocracy, as told through my own sort of mini-career parables. It's as much a cautionary tale as it is an introspective look at the environments that breed ruthless ambition, even if it takes an immense personal toll. I am a little bit tired of being labeled a "wünderkind" or a "golden child" because I think it gives a one-dimensional label to a process that was, as you know from working with me, incredibly difficult and not always worth it!
And my HOPE is that I can channel your immense organization and discipline into my writing sessions. Maybe I can hire you to yell at me for 30 minutes a day!
What was the most difficult illusion to part with as you gained more experience in the industry (or, hell, the world), and what made you decide it wasn't true after all?
I mean, I think the biggest illusion was that I fell in love with publishing and then saw directly behind the curtain, only to realize the whole house was burning down. I didn't exactly realize any of that until I got to the top. Once I had, it was kind of like finding Santa Claus wasn't real.
Thank you so much for doing this. I shared this a few times before, but I am in awe of your work every time I read it. You are truly an inspiration for me. I'm an aspiring queer magazine journalist (graduating this semester). How do you recommend I get started, especially in a time of uncertainty in the industry and budget cuts due to the pandemic?
Great question. I think one thing to consider is whether or not you want to work at a national magazine, and if that work requires you to be NYC-based. It is expensive to live here, and remote working conditions caused by the pandemic are causing a lot of journalists to re-evaluate their living situations. Another thing to consider is whether or not there are entry-level positions that could sustain you at this moment—or if you could reasonably get a more "traditional" full-time job and build clips on the side while you work to get yourself on stable financial ground. I know a couple folks who did weekend blogging for news sites and then had 9-5's in their home states, pocketing their weekend money for an eventual move when the right opportunity arose. Budget cuts due to the pandemic will mean that rates will fall and positions will dry up, especially towards the bottom of the masthead, which I think will force a lot of folks to innovate or stretch themselves in order to develop clips. Whatever happens, it will still behoove you to reach out to assigning editors at publications you respect and ask what they are looking for, and what it would take to get a pitch greenlit. They may ask you to submit "on spec," meaning you write and they review before agreeing to pay/publish. That can really suck, but you will stop getting asked this once you have a few compelling "clips" under your belt. And finally, familiarize yourself with the publications that do offer chances to aspiring journos—Bustle, Teen Vogue, Nylon, Hello Giggles, Seventeen, them, and others are a great way to get one's foot in the door, and their editors are practically universally kind and thoughtful. I hope that helps!
Wow, that really does help. There is so much pressure to get a job (a good, worthy job at that) in the industry right after graduation. This pandemic has upended that slightly, but hearing this advice from you makes me feel like I'm okay and on the right track. I really hope to stay in touch! Thanks again for everything.
I read poetry! Right now, I'm making my way through some Rumi. I also meditate using the Calm app. And for music, I love Sara Bareilles and Beyoncé and, sometimes, the Pussycat Dolls.
What book has had a profound impact on you as a person - in the way you view life, question everything, celebrate relationships - that you would recommend?
Sister, Outsider by Audre Lorde; The Will to Change by bell hooks; The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron; Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott; I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron
The fashion industry is taking a huge hit with this pandemic, and this will have an even bigger impact in the fashion magazines (that each year sees their teams getting smaller, and smaller). What do you think will happen to these publication? Can they survive?
I am very worried about our publications, but I think most of them will indeed 'survive,' it will just be a matter of how they do so. One thing that's been made clear about this moment is the urgency and necessity for fashion brands to be willing to talk about things beyond Fashion, Beauty, and Celebrity. In order to effectively do so, they need to be willing to hire talented journalists and editors who are equipped to handle subject matter like politics, social justice, mental health, and beyond in a sensitive and prescient way. When Fashion magazines DO find these people, they typically like to keep them as columnists or freelancers, so to avoid their having a seat at the table in the rooms when other editorial decisions (covers, assignments, etc) are made. If these people were to be integrated meaningfully into fashion mag's newsrooms, we'd all be better off. Maybe this will be a reckoning for many of those publications, maybe it won't. Either way, we are set to see additional layoffs and a tightening of freelance budgets, which only makes these positions and publications more fragile and harder to penetrate. I think that will be a real shame.
I totally agree, and that’s the problem. They rather keep this old model that is slowly and painfully dying because thats what they know, and how they can keep in control. Thats why we don’t actually get a seat at the table. And when we get it, we’re not really aloud to talk.
And yes For sure this will Be the downfall of many titles, that dont see the need for transformation, and don’t get that people are more awoke then ever. A beautiful shell will still be beautiful, but its not enough.
Any advice for a budding journalist, esp with trying to break into the magazine industry? Also, how do you practice self-care when a lot of the stories you write are deeply personal and tied to your identity and your communities?
1. Guard your personal stories, and don't sell them for cheap. Make sure you research before you pitch, and ensure that recent stories haven't been run on what you're suggesting. And finally, feel free to ask people you admire for 10 minutes of their time, ideally for a phone call, so you can ask them about their path and their journey. Come prepared with a pitch for a story idea to save for the end.
2. I write a lot that I'd never pitch or publish, I guess. Sometimes, reporting a story is easier than writing a personal one.
Why were you so hard on yourself (brutal actually) when writing “I have some regrets”? You are still so young in your career and what you experienced is partly a product of that. Everyone here has no doubt of what you will accomplish in the future and the balanced perspective will support a happier life for you. Looking forward to having you with us in LA.
I don't really think I was that brutal, just honest. Regrets aren't a bad thing, they're just hard to stomach. I don't feel guilty about the time I spent here, I just want to be clear about where I could have done better—and what I hope to avoid in this next chapter. So I'm not sad about it! I'm grateful for the clarity. And thank you, I'm very excited for what's to come.
My last semester, I took all Gallatin classes and we went to see a play on Broadway, we made art, we did face masks in a "healing circle," and we got to know each other and bond. I really feel like I missed out on forging more meaningful connections with my peers and my teachers, and I took my time there a little bit for granted. Gallatin is a truly special place.
With your move to LA, will you pivot to TV/film writing/production? If you do, which of the skills that you've honed in editorial will you be most excited to apply in that role?
I am excited to work in TV! I think that all of the skills of editorial apply—specifically, finding an untold angle, considering whose voices aren't represented or amplified and making space for that, thinking about how to get the most amount of eyeballs on something you care about passionately, even presentation and marketing that went into covers or ambitious projects. There's so much more overlap than I thought, and I'm hoping it serves me well in my first projects.
I am currently dating a triple fire sign (Leo with Aries rising,) and the experience is (sigh)...new to me. How does Darien do it? And do the two of you have any tips for me to survive during this trying time?
Short answer: Triple Fire Signs need AIR, as in SPACE to be themselves and be independent. Smothering us makes us hostile. Frequent check-ins and "how are you feeling" can sometimes read as overly attentive/obsessive. I'd try and find things you guys can do separately but then come together to discuss—art projects, movie watching, reading, cooking, or whatever. And, I'd definitely appeal to the fire sign's need for...visual stimulation ;) but otherwise, we're all figuring it out slowly and together. Be patient with yourself and with them.
fruity inspired me to start a newsletter of my own just a few days ago! I'm thinking of it mostly as a personal creative outlet for now given all the extra time I have lately. I've struggled with staying consistent in my personal writing in the past with blogging. I work in content marketing, so spending my days writing and building blogs leaves me worn out to do it on my own time. Any advice on consistency with writing?
I hear you! I wake up early and write on my couch for an hour or two. Sometimes, I have to throw it all away, and sometimes it leads me to something interesting. Give yourself a once per week publishing cadence so you can spend your time focused on making something meaningful that doesn't feel too high-stakes. Build up if you feel like you can devote more time to it. But my best advice is: We are freshest and cleanest in the mornings, when our brains are active and untainted. Don't give that to a job, give it to yourself :)
Every single white person has a lot of learning to do—and I think it's equal parts "learning" and "unlearning." That said, I didn't enter this relationship as one of those people who says, "I don't see race!" And I didn't expect to be taught lessons by my partner, I did and do work on my own so that he is not putting labor into educating me on top of the labor of love.
One of the things I've grown most conscious of is how we enter spaces, and what those spaces look like. In other words, how often am I in a room that is full of white folks? And is that a room that I need to be in? And, if I do have to be there for work or other obligations, is that a room that I want or need to bring my partner to? The answer is almost always "no," and that's perfectly fine.
Sometimes, though, it is necessary—like when we visit my family. I am and have been lucky that my family is (by now) full of people who want to do better, even if they don't always say the right things in the moment. I'm grateful those things that are said have been very few and far between in our five years together, and that I was able to individually work on explaining things to my family and was received with love. I do have a couple of family members who are conservative, and it was my choice to part ways with them after the 2016 election. I made that decision independent of my partner, and would have made the same one if we weren't together.
Hi Phillip ~~ Is there a topic you are extremely interested in, but never really get to talk about with the people around you? Mine is gymnastics history.
...I always wanted to be a gymnast. The topic I'm extremely interested in but never get to talk about would be RELIGION. I'm very excited to finally dive in when my podcast launches in a month or so (!!) but it's something I've always been fascinated by. That and Greek mythology!
One-sitting kind of read! Try "Boy, Snow, Bird" by Helen Oyeyemi if you like a bit of fantasy/fairy tale. "Practical Magic" by Alice Hoffman if you like witches. "Conversations with Friends" if you like Sally Rooney and a slightly 'Sex and the City' kinda drama. "Just Kids" by Patti Smith to get lost in New York of the '80s.
Not a question, but I feel a need to comment on your statement that you never deserved New York after all. I prefer to take exception to that as, from all that I have observed, I believe that you are exiting a New York that is richer and stronger thanks to your tireless efforts and contributions
First off, I enjoy your writing and thus, Fruity, so so much! I've followed you on insta for a couple years now and I enjoy what you post, from your columns to your outfits a lot too.
Could you recommend some books please? I enjoy LGBTQ+ fiction and non-fiction but I'm open to pretty much anything. Thanks in advance!
P. S. I recall you reading Isabel Allende a while back, and if you haven't read it yet, I recommend Paula.
Hi! Thanks so much. Paula is on my list! If you've not yet read 'Real Life' by Brandon Taylor, that's a good one. There's also 'Christodora,' which is a historical fiction piece about the AIDS Crisis. Persepolis and Fun Home are two great graphic novels. For non-fiction, I'm about to dig into The Stonewall Reader! XX
Oh my God, don't fuck around with credit cards! I was so stupid and had a card get canceled on me when I was in college and it STILL sits on my credit report. If you need to use credit to spend more than you can pay off, then put that damn card away and set a deadline in your calendar for when your balance will get back to $0.
Skin Drink by Renée Rouleau is super straightforward, no frills, and well-priced. If you want to go SUPER luxe and fancy, I love the Barbra Strum formula.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE QUESTION. I love really dumb Vines (especially starring this child: https://vine.co/v/O3ehH0jHFlq/) and I also love any and all videos of people falling or getting hurt (unless it is while skateboarding, bicycling, et cetera). @kidsgettinghurt is one of my favorite Instagrams. They say schadenfreude is a sign of the dumb. If so, I'm a dumb bitch and I'm fine with that.
Also, I like watching these weird videos where vocal instructors judge live performances of like, Christina and Mariah and all of them and show their range.
I’d like to work in fashion but the industry is so small here in Texas. I may move when my health is in a better place, but what are some pieces of advice you would give to a queer person trying to find their way career wise? The last six years have been a real struggle.
I am rooting for you and your health, my love. Fashion is a tough industry in that it's incredibly insular and yet, all-encompassing. You could be a marketer, editor, salesperson, retail associate, buyer, whatever. I think my best advice is to make a list of career goals or aspirations, or even of what you like about fashion, then try to identify where you want to approach the industry. From there, you may be able to make a list of brands or companies to work for. Above all, don't forget that skill sets that apply in Fashion also apply to other industries, so you can always build applicable experience in an adjacent industry, be it Beauty or Tech or what-have-you. If you look at whatever jobs are around you as a stepping stone to save money and build experience, it might give you a clearer outlook or help you feel like you're being productive towards reaching your goals.
Ok, I did a IG takeover with Joanna Czech, a major celebrity esthetician, yesterday on the @diorskincare handle. She taught me all sorts of facial massage techniques that were WILD, including pressure points and eyebrow lifting. Go to their handle to see if it's still there! If not, I recommend buying a ReFa roller or Joanna Czech's facial massagers—they come with online instructions to stimulate blood-flow and really give a "workout" to your face.
What do you think is the future for the left wing movement? What do they need to change to be more effective in winning elections and the ideas battle? What has worked? What hasn't? (This could very well be a future blog!)
I think my simplified answer is: The future of the movement is AOC. And as she continues to grow in her influence and her career, I hope we can remain loyal to her. What we need to change in order to be more effective in winning elections is, I think, a more wholehearted understanding from voters that Democrats are not like Republicans—we are not a monolith that lines up "blue no matter who." In order to win a lot of ground games right now, we need a spectrum of candidates who are best suited for their regions. Once we take back the House AND the Senate is when I think we can be more strategic.
It is hard to answer this question without acknowledging Tara Reade's allegations against Joe Biden, and his campaign's apparent inadequacy to address these concerns. This is hovering above me as a sort of cloud, because I'm not sure what our future is as a party if we don't demand accountability and due process here while we also proclaim to be the party that stands for women.
If you have no idea where to begin, I recommend picking up a copy of The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I am on week eight of it right now, and it is a bizarrely fulfilling and inspiring way to connect with what your intention is. The best thing you can have before entering a creative industry is clarity! Know what you want and what your goals are before you seek out/jump at an opportunity.
Can you give us any specifics about your book writing plans? What kind of book do you want to write and what are some of the themes/ideas you want to focus on?
The book I want to write is a mix of memoir and analysis about the myths of capitalism and meritocracy, as told through my own sort of mini-career parables. It's as much a cautionary tale as it is an introspective look at the environments that breed ruthless ambition, even if it takes an immense personal toll. I am a little bit tired of being labeled a "wünderkind" or a "golden child" because I think it gives a one-dimensional label to a process that was, as you know from working with me, incredibly difficult and not always worth it!
And my HOPE is that I can channel your immense organization and discipline into my writing sessions. Maybe I can hire you to yell at me for 30 minutes a day!
Whatever you need!
RT
What was the most difficult illusion to part with as you gained more experience in the industry (or, hell, the world), and what made you decide it wasn't true after all?
I mean, I think the biggest illusion was that I fell in love with publishing and then saw directly behind the curtain, only to realize the whole house was burning down. I didn't exactly realize any of that until I got to the top. Once I had, it was kind of like finding Santa Claus wasn't real.
Thank you so much for doing this. I shared this a few times before, but I am in awe of your work every time I read it. You are truly an inspiration for me. I'm an aspiring queer magazine journalist (graduating this semester). How do you recommend I get started, especially in a time of uncertainty in the industry and budget cuts due to the pandemic?
Great question. I think one thing to consider is whether or not you want to work at a national magazine, and if that work requires you to be NYC-based. It is expensive to live here, and remote working conditions caused by the pandemic are causing a lot of journalists to re-evaluate their living situations. Another thing to consider is whether or not there are entry-level positions that could sustain you at this moment—or if you could reasonably get a more "traditional" full-time job and build clips on the side while you work to get yourself on stable financial ground. I know a couple folks who did weekend blogging for news sites and then had 9-5's in their home states, pocketing their weekend money for an eventual move when the right opportunity arose. Budget cuts due to the pandemic will mean that rates will fall and positions will dry up, especially towards the bottom of the masthead, which I think will force a lot of folks to innovate or stretch themselves in order to develop clips. Whatever happens, it will still behoove you to reach out to assigning editors at publications you respect and ask what they are looking for, and what it would take to get a pitch greenlit. They may ask you to submit "on spec," meaning you write and they review before agreeing to pay/publish. That can really suck, but you will stop getting asked this once you have a few compelling "clips" under your belt. And finally, familiarize yourself with the publications that do offer chances to aspiring journos—Bustle, Teen Vogue, Nylon, Hello Giggles, Seventeen, them, and others are a great way to get one's foot in the door, and their editors are practically universally kind and thoughtful. I hope that helps!
Wow, that really does help. There is so much pressure to get a job (a good, worthy job at that) in the industry right after graduation. This pandemic has upended that slightly, but hearing this advice from you makes me feel like I'm okay and on the right track. I really hope to stay in touch! Thanks again for everything.
What music or art do you turn to when you need to be uplifted?
I read poetry! Right now, I'm making my way through some Rumi. I also meditate using the Calm app. And for music, I love Sara Bareilles and Beyoncé and, sometimes, the Pussycat Dolls.
What book has had a profound impact on you as a person - in the way you view life, question everything, celebrate relationships - that you would recommend?
Sister, Outsider by Audre Lorde; The Will to Change by bell hooks; The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron; Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott; I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron
The fashion industry is taking a huge hit with this pandemic, and this will have an even bigger impact in the fashion magazines (that each year sees their teams getting smaller, and smaller). What do you think will happen to these publication? Can they survive?
I am very worried about our publications, but I think most of them will indeed 'survive,' it will just be a matter of how they do so. One thing that's been made clear about this moment is the urgency and necessity for fashion brands to be willing to talk about things beyond Fashion, Beauty, and Celebrity. In order to effectively do so, they need to be willing to hire talented journalists and editors who are equipped to handle subject matter like politics, social justice, mental health, and beyond in a sensitive and prescient way. When Fashion magazines DO find these people, they typically like to keep them as columnists or freelancers, so to avoid their having a seat at the table in the rooms when other editorial decisions (covers, assignments, etc) are made. If these people were to be integrated meaningfully into fashion mag's newsrooms, we'd all be better off. Maybe this will be a reckoning for many of those publications, maybe it won't. Either way, we are set to see additional layoffs and a tightening of freelance budgets, which only makes these positions and publications more fragile and harder to penetrate. I think that will be a real shame.
Vitor Machadojust now
I totally agree, and that’s the problem. They rather keep this old model that is slowly and painfully dying because thats what they know, and how they can keep in control. Thats why we don’t actually get a seat at the table. And when we get it, we’re not really aloud to talk.
And yes For sure this will Be the downfall of many titles, that dont see the need for transformation, and don’t get that people are more awoke then ever. A beautiful shell will still be beautiful, but its not enough.
Any advice for a budding journalist, esp with trying to break into the magazine industry? Also, how do you practice self-care when a lot of the stories you write are deeply personal and tied to your identity and your communities?
1. Guard your personal stories, and don't sell them for cheap. Make sure you research before you pitch, and ensure that recent stories haven't been run on what you're suggesting. And finally, feel free to ask people you admire for 10 minutes of their time, ideally for a phone call, so you can ask them about their path and their journey. Come prepared with a pitch for a story idea to save for the end.
2. I write a lot that I'd never pitch or publish, I guess. Sometimes, reporting a story is easier than writing a personal one.
Why were you so hard on yourself (brutal actually) when writing “I have some regrets”? You are still so young in your career and what you experienced is partly a product of that. Everyone here has no doubt of what you will accomplish in the future and the balanced perspective will support a happier life for you. Looking forward to having you with us in LA.
I don't really think I was that brutal, just honest. Regrets aren't a bad thing, they're just hard to stomach. I don't feel guilty about the time I spent here, I just want to be clear about where I could have done better—and what I hope to avoid in this next chapter. So I'm not sad about it! I'm grateful for the clarity. And thank you, I'm very excited for what's to come.
Can you clone yourself? Been thinking a lot about it. We get one -- LA gets one.
Imagine the havoc that would be brought on the world if my triple-fire-sign-ass self were cloned.
One Phillip is enough.
Hmm
You're one to talk! We need a FEW Dariens in NY as well.
We need more of all three of you!!!
I really liked “I Have Some Regrets.” I graduated NYU in 3 years, too. What do you feel like you missed out on?
My last semester, I took all Gallatin classes and we went to see a play on Broadway, we made art, we did face masks in a "healing circle," and we got to know each other and bond. I really feel like I missed out on forging more meaningful connections with my peers and my teachers, and I took my time there a little bit for granted. Gallatin is a truly special place.
How does your relationship currently stand with Condé Nast?
With your move to LA, will you pivot to TV/film writing/production? If you do, which of the skills that you've honed in editorial will you be most excited to apply in that role?
I am excited to work in TV! I think that all of the skills of editorial apply—specifically, finding an untold angle, considering whose voices aren't represented or amplified and making space for that, thinking about how to get the most amount of eyeballs on something you care about passionately, even presentation and marketing that went into covers or ambitious projects. There's so much more overlap than I thought, and I'm hoping it serves me well in my first projects.
I am currently dating a triple fire sign (Leo with Aries rising,) and the experience is (sigh)...new to me. How does Darien do it? And do the two of you have any tips for me to survive during this trying time?
I feel very attacked
DARIEN IS A GEMINI. IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S A WALK IN THE PARK, EVERYONE.
Short answer: Triple Fire Signs need AIR, as in SPACE to be themselves and be independent. Smothering us makes us hostile. Frequent check-ins and "how are you feeling" can sometimes read as overly attentive/obsessive. I'd try and find things you guys can do separately but then come together to discuss—art projects, movie watching, reading, cooking, or whatever. And, I'd definitely appeal to the fire sign's need for...visual stimulation ;) but otherwise, we're all figuring it out slowly and together. Be patient with yourself and with them.
HAHAHAH I am also a Gemini wow
fruity inspired me to start a newsletter of my own just a few days ago! I'm thinking of it mostly as a personal creative outlet for now given all the extra time I have lately. I've struggled with staying consistent in my personal writing in the past with blogging. I work in content marketing, so spending my days writing and building blogs leaves me worn out to do it on my own time. Any advice on consistency with writing?
I hear you! I wake up early and write on my couch for an hour or two. Sometimes, I have to throw it all away, and sometimes it leads me to something interesting. Give yourself a once per week publishing cadence so you can spend your time focused on making something meaningful that doesn't feel too high-stakes. Build up if you feel like you can devote more time to it. But my best advice is: We are freshest and cleanest in the mornings, when our brains are active and untainted. Don't give that to a job, give it to yourself :)
You're in an interracial relationship. Do you have a lot of learning to do? How about your family?
Every single white person has a lot of learning to do—and I think it's equal parts "learning" and "unlearning." That said, I didn't enter this relationship as one of those people who says, "I don't see race!" And I didn't expect to be taught lessons by my partner, I did and do work on my own so that he is not putting labor into educating me on top of the labor of love.
One of the things I've grown most conscious of is how we enter spaces, and what those spaces look like. In other words, how often am I in a room that is full of white folks? And is that a room that I need to be in? And, if I do have to be there for work or other obligations, is that a room that I want or need to bring my partner to? The answer is almost always "no," and that's perfectly fine.
Sometimes, though, it is necessary—like when we visit my family. I am and have been lucky that my family is (by now) full of people who want to do better, even if they don't always say the right things in the moment. I'm grateful those things that are said have been very few and far between in our five years together, and that I was able to individually work on explaining things to my family and was received with love. I do have a couple of family members who are conservative, and it was my choice to part ways with them after the 2016 election. I made that decision independent of my partner, and would have made the same one if we weren't together.
Hi Phillip ~~ Is there a topic you are extremely interested in, but never really get to talk about with the people around you? Mine is gymnastics history.
...I always wanted to be a gymnast. The topic I'm extremely interested in but never get to talk about would be RELIGION. I'm very excited to finally dive in when my podcast launches in a month or so (!!) but it's something I've always been fascinated by. That and Greek mythology!
What is the most engrossing novel you’ve read recently (or whenever!)? Looking for a one-sitting kind of read right now. Thank you!!
One-sitting kind of read! Try "Boy, Snow, Bird" by Helen Oyeyemi if you like a bit of fantasy/fairy tale. "Practical Magic" by Alice Hoffman if you like witches. "Conversations with Friends" if you like Sally Rooney and a slightly 'Sex and the City' kinda drama. "Just Kids" by Patti Smith to get lost in New York of the '80s.
Not a question, but I feel a need to comment on your statement that you never deserved New York after all. I prefer to take exception to that as, from all that I have observed, I believe that you are exiting a New York that is richer and stronger thanks to your tireless efforts and contributions
Thank you, Dale. I'm not sure anyone 'deserves' the majesty of New York, but I am open to my mind changing as life goes on :)
First off, I enjoy your writing and thus, Fruity, so so much! I've followed you on insta for a couple years now and I enjoy what you post, from your columns to your outfits a lot too.
Could you recommend some books please? I enjoy LGBTQ+ fiction and non-fiction but I'm open to pretty much anything. Thanks in advance!
P. S. I recall you reading Isabel Allende a while back, and if you haven't read it yet, I recommend Paula.
Hi! Thanks so much. Paula is on my list! If you've not yet read 'Real Life' by Brandon Taylor, that's a good one. There's also 'Christodora,' which is a historical fiction piece about the AIDS Crisis. Persepolis and Fun Home are two great graphic novels. For non-fiction, I'm about to dig into The Stonewall Reader! XX
What are your top picks for audiobooks?
"I Remember Nothing" by Nora Ephron; anything Maya Angelou; and if you want something spooky, try "Beloved" by Toni Morrison.
What’s one money lesson you wished you’d have learned earlier in life?
Oh my God, don't fuck around with credit cards! I was so stupid and had a card get canceled on me when I was in college and it STILL sits on my credit report. If you need to use credit to spend more than you can pay off, then put that damn card away and set a deadline in your calendar for when your balance will get back to $0.
I’m thinking of adding a serum with hyaluronic acid in them. Do you have any recommendations?
Skin Drink by Renée Rouleau is super straightforward, no frills, and well-priced. If you want to go SUPER luxe and fancy, I love the Barbra Strum formula.
Would you ever do a video of your skincare regimen? Or at least a list of the products you’re currently using?
Yes!
What are your favorite weird youtube videos?
THIS IS MY FAVORITE QUESTION. I love really dumb Vines (especially starring this child: https://vine.co/v/O3ehH0jHFlq/) and I also love any and all videos of people falling or getting hurt (unless it is while skateboarding, bicycling, et cetera). @kidsgettinghurt is one of my favorite Instagrams. They say schadenfreude is a sign of the dumb. If so, I'm a dumb bitch and I'm fine with that.
Also, I like watching these weird videos where vocal instructors judge live performances of like, Christina and Mariah and all of them and show their range.
I’d like to work in fashion but the industry is so small here in Texas. I may move when my health is in a better place, but what are some pieces of advice you would give to a queer person trying to find their way career wise? The last six years have been a real struggle.
I am rooting for you and your health, my love. Fashion is a tough industry in that it's incredibly insular and yet, all-encompassing. You could be a marketer, editor, salesperson, retail associate, buyer, whatever. I think my best advice is to make a list of career goals or aspirations, or even of what you like about fashion, then try to identify where you want to approach the industry. From there, you may be able to make a list of brands or companies to work for. Above all, don't forget that skill sets that apply in Fashion also apply to other industries, so you can always build applicable experience in an adjacent industry, be it Beauty or Tech or what-have-you. If you look at whatever jobs are around you as a stepping stone to save money and build experience, it might give you a clearer outlook or help you feel like you're being productive towards reaching your goals.
PS I had tears in my eyes after reading "I Have Some Regrets"
I had tears in my eyes after writing it!
What are your recommendations for some creative home facials since we can’t get to our favorite esthetician!
Ok, I did a IG takeover with Joanna Czech, a major celebrity esthetician, yesterday on the @diorskincare handle. She taught me all sorts of facial massage techniques that were WILD, including pressure points and eyebrow lifting. Go to their handle to see if it's still there! If not, I recommend buying a ReFa roller or Joanna Czech's facial massagers—they come with online instructions to stimulate blood-flow and really give a "workout" to your face.
What do you think is the future for the left wing movement? What do they need to change to be more effective in winning elections and the ideas battle? What has worked? What hasn't? (This could very well be a future blog!)
THIS IS SUCH A HARD ONE TO START ON, ARJUN
Hence a blog! You can write it as procrastination :)
I think my simplified answer is: The future of the movement is AOC. And as she continues to grow in her influence and her career, I hope we can remain loyal to her. What we need to change in order to be more effective in winning elections is, I think, a more wholehearted understanding from voters that Democrats are not like Republicans—we are not a monolith that lines up "blue no matter who." In order to win a lot of ground games right now, we need a spectrum of candidates who are best suited for their regions. Once we take back the House AND the Senate is when I think we can be more strategic.
It is hard to answer this question without acknowledging Tara Reade's allegations against Joe Biden, and his campaign's apparent inadequacy to address these concerns. This is hovering above me as a sort of cloud, because I'm not sure what our future is as a party if we don't demand accountability and due process here while we also proclaim to be the party that stands for women.
If you have no idea where to begin, I recommend picking up a copy of The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I am on week eight of it right now, and it is a bizarrely fulfilling and inspiring way to connect with what your intention is. The best thing you can have before entering a creative industry is clarity! Know what you want and what your goals are before you seek out/jump at an opportunity.